The worst thing about Christmas must be listening to Top Of The Pops and also the Christmas Number 1 ? Girls Aloud, Robbie Williams, Westlife and Mr Blobby for goodness sake! Surely anyone can develop a better Christmas Hit than those. After all, a computer does all of the work, don't you think - whatever you do is press a few buttons and jiggle a couple of drum and bass lines around.
So exactly what do you need? You require a PC which has a reasonable quantity of processing power within the hood - a Pentium III at the very least, preferably a P4 - as a way to run the songs software.
Audio files may be large - forget MP3s, we're talking actual cigarettes here - as well as for each tabs on audio you record you will need around 10.6Mb of hard drive space for each minute. Every track defintely won't be stuffed with audio which means you won't need quite that much in a very multi-track recording however for a four-minute 16-track song it will be wise to allocate around 500Mb of hard disk drive space.
Playing cards
You have to have a soundcard. All modern PCs have one of these but when you do not need your song to sound like it was recorded in the back bedroom - even it if was - get a decent card.
At Christmas-stocking price is a selection of SoundBlaster cards for example the Audigy 2 ZS (for under ?70/$100) using a good group of built-in sounds. But more importantly, they support SoundFonts. These are samples the card uses to produce realistic instrument sounds and much better beefy bass lines than yer average sound card.
If you've a wealthy Mummy and Daddy they?ll be very happy to buy which you costlier card for example E-Mu?s Emulator X (around ?220/$380), a desktop sampling system which also supports SoundFonts. If you own a nightclub you can actually afford considered one of CreamWare's high-end systems with on-board synthesisers that could do everything but sober up the drummer - not really that you need a drummer 'cause they have the drum sounds you'll need.
Key move
You'll also have to have a MIDI keyboard to record your masterpiece. There?s a huge choice here from E-Mu?s XBoard 25, XBoard 49, and Swissonic?s CK490 (all playing around ?100/$150 give or take) to the Fatar range running through the TMK61 (?130/$225) up for the VMK 188 Plus (?599/$1000) with several models inbeween.
These keyboards don't have any on-board seems like synthesisers but you are less costly than synths where there are sounds inside the soundcard anyway. If you've seen an Elton John concert and cannot face the idea of touching a keyboard, don't be concerned - you need to use pre-recorded loops and samples and cleverly put them in stunning combinations with out a keyboard.
Listen 'ere
A decent set of two speakers is crucial. The ten quid jobbies which were bundled along with your PC could be for playing MP3s but they simply won't do for mixing music.
The Big Boys use dedicated monitor speakers which can cost as much being a visit to Barbados in case you exit the other half in the home you can easily afford Behringer?s MS16s (?46/$79), or Edirol?s MA7A (?80/$135) or MA150 (?120/$200).
If your PC is near your hi fi it is possible to run the audio using that but shut off any bass boost or EQ settings. The idea is to get a flat, uncoloured response if it sounds good on those speakers it must sounds good on any speakers. So the theory goes.
Good arrangement
The Big Boys can fiddle with high-end music sequencers but the new and intensely modestly-priced Cubase SE 3 (less than a ton/$170) allows you to record and assemble audio and MIDI parts with almost all the aplomb. It shows both varieties of recording about the same arrange page rendering it clear to understand how they fit together.
And finally, you may need a CD recorder which means you can burn your finished hit to CD and send it to lucky record companies. If you?ve a modern day PC you?ll have one already. But do use a labeller and make up a CD inlay, too, to give the CD a pro finish. In the songs biz, looks, fashion and magnificence are a great deal more important than content so spend at the very least the maximum amount of time externally as on the background music. Put your information on the CD label plus the inlay.
Hook and line
Now let's come up with a song. You have to have a hook. This will be the bit everyone sings so it has to be catchy. It's usually the chorus but it is possible to have a catchy bass line, drum line or maybe a vocal hook like shout or even a catch phrase like "Eh Oh". Well it worked for your Teletubbies ? are you currently old enough to recollect them with embarrassment?
Let's say you've come up with a stonking chorus. Build a verse around it. It doesn't must be memorable; few verses are. You can meander around in a very relatively tuneless way until it is time to unleash the chorus on the world.
When building a song, begin with the rhythm section. Grab some groovy drum loops, string them together adding the bass line. You can play this on your new MIDI keyboard or drop in bass samples - jolly useful things, samples.
Next you need to then add keyboard parts which can be clever rhythmic figures or you can play pads by holding down some chords using a broad-texture sound for example strings.
Very vocal
Then add the vocals. If it is possible to't sing - but don't forget that never stopped anyone building a record - you may want to nip on the pub and ask the winner of the week's karaoke contest to perform the chanting in your case. Play your cards right and they also may even pay out the comission for the privilege.
If you've excessive musical nous to be within the same room being a karaoke singer, you'll be able to always fall back on your own old friend, the sample.
The final step could be the mixing. This is where you balance every one of the parts you recorded, include a dash of reverb and customarily tart finished . up.
Then save the complete song as an audio file ready for burning to CD. This means recording the MIDI parts as audio tracks. You need to mix every one of the tracks into one stereo track therefore the final file will be 10.6Mb x the gap in minutes.
Looks good
Now you must interest the A&R men with your CD. It's all about image therefore if you're dull and ugly - name three ugly pop stars, apart from Madonna and Mick Hucknall - you might want to get considered one of your beautiful friends to pose for your publicity photos.
Write a one-page biog - they don't really want to know that there is a GCSE in music, they wish to know what gigs you must have done as well as any Big Name bands you?ve supported. Drop a number of names for example Bruce, Robbie and Tina. You don't have to mention surnames...
If you do catch the ear of your A&R person, anticipate to throw your ego out the window - you are able to't afford one at this time so when you're famous and rich you are able to buy a lot better one anyway.
You'll understand the months of blood, sweat and Pils that you just poured to your song pouring straight down the drain since the record company drafts in a very 14-year-old DJ to remix your song while using the latest Dance breakbeats and crap - sorry, rap - vocals.
But no problem - you'll be able to laugh every one of the way on the bank in the event it reaches Number One!
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